It is quite overwhelming, still breastfeeding and working, I have to be home on time (before I  have a milk explosion in the car!) god forbid for traffic on the way home … or my boss making me stay longer for what ever reason. Now daddy is on maternity leave – and now he is overwhelmed and tired. Once I get home, he is ready to throw Becci at me and just escape to another room or better another floor. Of course he never thought it is so difficult to be at home with a baby. Men always think that women when stay at home do nothing … well now he can see how much work it actually is when you are at home. I prefer to be at work and have the cleaning lady visiting us once a week. I would love her to live with us !!! That would be great to have her every day. Guess have to wait until I am rich to allow myself such a luxus….
He thought he will put her in a playpen and read his news papers …. ha ha ha … not with Becci, she is a demanding little girl, who knows exactly how to get her quality time out of everybody in the house. Once I get home, Becci does not want to be with me, either she is upset that I left her or she needs some time to get used to me again. Either way, after I get home, daddy is still not off the hook. That gives me time to eat and have a decent cup of Nespresso (unlike the bullshit coffee we have at work …). Big sister also helps with with little one, but mostly she just comes down to kiss her and after 2 minutes she had enough and disappears for another hours of facebook or whatever it is she does all evening up there in her room. Having the separate floors for the kids has its advantages, everybody has privacy, maybe even too much of it. When we want to say something to each other in the house, we call each other … another curious thing is how we place everything on the stairs so who ever goes up has to take the stuff with him and put it in the rooms or its place, lazy as the inhabitants of my particular house are, nobody takes anything and the stairs are always packed with stuff until the cleaning lady comes.

The weather here got severely cold in the last days even till -20 and windy which makes it even colder. On days like that I find lots of comfort in online shopping … for things I don’t really need … but it gives me some kind of weird satisfaction, it’s either shopping – or eating, so I choose shopping, because if I choose eating, I will have to do even more shopping, since nothing will fit me soon.

My photographer friend goes this week again to Africa, gosh do I envy him. Not only for the warm weather but for the photos I am missing out again. Last time I was about to go with him to Africa I had my knee injury, so this time, I didn’t even dare to utter a wish of going. Will have to wait another few years until the baby is older … hopefully I will not be to old for such adventures than. I would love to go to Cuba and my dream is still Argentina. Sure I will go one day. Should really drag myself out and do some photos, but it’s so bloody cold, my camera doesn’t like it when its so cold.

One of my new purchases is a pedometer, it counts the steps you do per day, doctor said one has to do 10,000 steps a day to stay healthy and loose weight … I programmed the little gadget yesterday and already forgot it at home today. Since my workplace is sooooo huge, I am sure I am making a lot of steps with my short legs from the parking until I reach my office, would be interesting to know the exact count. It might even motivate me to do more, who knows… (I kind of know, it wouldn’t … but worth a try). 

Our new kitchen makes me really happy though. Sacrificed all my savings for it, but it was worth every dime.   Every day when I go in there I smile. Its lovely, white and shiny, even impeccably clean on Saturdays (cleaning lady day). Now I am so motivated to cook, my family is delighted by my cooking attacks . Our combined microwave is so sophisticated that he knows himself how to prepare anything, you just type in what it is and the weight and bam, it starts cooking by itself, than you hear a beep and it is written: bonne appetite ! I thank my sis in law who introduced me to   www.skinnytaste.com   I can highly recommend this site. It’s weight watchers and light food, but extremely tasty and easy to do with a great variety. I get newsletter by mail with the greatest suggestions what to cook, and even I can send myself a shopping list to my mobile phone and shop on the way home according to the list.

Now I have time to watch movies again … how? While I put Becci to sleep, which usually takes from 30 min. (best case) till 2,5 hours (worst case scenario), so I lay in bed with her, our bed of course! She has no idea why we have a baby bed standing in our bedroom next to our bed… she must wonder what this strange box (her baby bed) is… she thinks its another play pen. Impossible to put her to sleep in her bed, no matter how deep she sleeps, lift her from our bed and she is wide awake, looking at us in amazement, how dare we lift her up. Than I would rock her in my arms until she is asleep, I make sure that she sleeps, I would make one step towards her bed to the right, immediately she opens her eyes and stretches her arms in the direction of our bed. She understands very well and refuses to sleep by herself. I know I know, it’s all my fault. All this started when she was tiny and helpless and the bed seemed so big for her, I would put her on my chest and she would sleep like an angel. She must have liked it, well me too obviously. We don’t mind. We love having her with us, she is so warm and smells great, and when she sleeps she doesn’t mind our kisses as much. Lynn was also sleeping with us until she was 5, so what… no harm in that at all. They grow up knowing they are loved and self-secure. They grow up too fast anyway.

— December 2011 —

Seems I gave birth just … yesterday … and now Becci is starting to crawl… well, almost… she kind of crawls backwards …

— January 2012 —

OMG, not only does Becci aka “speedy Gonzales” crawl perfectly forward, she stands up on her own holding on to furniture, and now she even lets one hand go …
Becci is a full entertainment program .. and this 24/7, non stop action with this little pumpkin!
Either we have gotten old, or she is really a hand full. Our other two kids were nothing compared to her. For once, they were sleeping for hours during the day. Not Becci, oh no, if we are lucky enough for her to fall asleep in  the day, it’s for 20 minutes max. She wakes up with a big smile and loaded with energy. We call her “Becci, things to do things to do” – she is always on the move. On the other hand she is such a sunshine in our lives, we adore her to bits. She really was the missing piece in the puzzle, we all can not imagine life without her, how bored we would have been.

Mother nature has a wonderful way to make women immune to sleep deprivation. I feel like I have been trained for the Mossad, they are welcome to hire me know, I can go months without sleep!
Even if Becci does not wake up in the night, after 2-3 hours, I wake up to check on her. I start to move her, poke her a bit to make sure that she is alive … Obviously, than she wakes up, wondering what the hell I am doing when she sleeps … I admit, I kind of miss her when she sleeps. Before I was complaining that I still breastfeed her during the night, now she is almost 9 months, she should sleep through the night without eating … (maybe she would if I would stop touching her when she sleeps …??? That’s a thought …) Now I have introduced her to a wonderful and comfortable way of sleeping (for me…), I just put her on me, she is perfectly close and I can monitor her breathing all the time … result is, I don’t sleep at all … but reassured!

Oh yes…, and I have 2 other children, one is not much of a child anymore. He likes to believe he is a grown man living like “Alice in Wonderland”. He parties all night, comes home in the morning, sleeps all day, wakes up late in the afternoon, just to get ready for another party night… Well, the party is over now. He has to go to the army, even if I was against it until now, I am more than happy to send him off. Bye Bye party! I hope they will teach him a lesson there, first lesson will be to get up in the morning! I wish I could see that! I grin at the very thought!
There is also my 13 yrs old daughter who is a teenager now, with all the wonderful package we parents get when our kids become a teenager. She is moody, watches her diet, dresses up, skin is not as flawless as before, and she talks back! Never thought this can happen with her … but oh waow … she has a mouth big time! Still she is still a pretty disciplined girl, doing her homework and minding her own business (facebook 24/7) … her only enemy is mathematics at school, rest is okayish.

I still have the liberty of working 6,5 hours a day instead of 8,5 until May, a BIG privilege given by my employer, after making us come back to work 16 weeks after giving birth. In Austria mothers can stay up to 3 years with the baby at home…. but not the UN…. although we are in Austria we have our own rules. I am trying to enjoy these last couple of months “honeymoon”, it is so great to come home when there is still light outside!
It’s end of January now, and we had only 1 day of snow… weather has gone nuts, like the rest of the world, I wonder how long mother earth will put up with us polluters…

There are so many things to do and so little time for everything …
I don’t want a longer day, I just want a long life to accomplish all the things I have planned in a good pace.

I hope to spend the last week quickly, going around making the last errands. I have everything ready and set for her even if she would arrive today …. honestly, I am hoping to go into labor even before next week, I am full term now, why wait any longer? Well, patience was never one of my strong attributes anyway. I hate waiting, especially for something as good!

One week passed nicely, my friend Adi and her baby girl visited me and went back to Israel, it was the first time I saw her baby girl Carmel. She is the sweetest little thing! Adorable, beautiful and calm and always smiling. I will miss her now. We have made such beautiful photos of her. The photos can be used for commercials! She is a natural!

I hope to get well soon enough after the operation, to update my blog about the delivery and the first days, and of course photos!!

Hugs to all of you

Jan and a half

All in all, I am very excited, although the last 2 months were really anything but easy. My girli decided, since she will be delivered by c-section, she spares herself the hassle of turning head down and just stayed until a couple of days ago in breech position, that means sideways, this was really hell for me, maybe nice for her?! This caused contractions all the time, my belly was so high, I felt it started from my throat down. Breathing was impossible, just small breaths, so I felt constantly out of breath like after a good long run (as if I ever ran…. but I imagine it as unpleasant as this…). Heartburn was a constant companion of mine. Walking was also painful, she must have squeezed some nerve in my back. I was so upset because finally in Week 35 (so much for human rights in the UN!!) I started my materinty leave and couldn’t enjoy it at all, even driving was too much.
I already prepared and washed all the baby stuff, hoping that if she sees that all is ready and only waiting for her, I will start labor … but no … she can wait my little “shanti babi”, I bet she will be in no hurry and easy going just like her father. He is never in a rush for anything, while I am the complete opposite, always on the run and impatient as hell!

Last week I went to the doctor literally begging him to get her out, of course he completely ignored me, and said that only because I feel “a little” uncomfy (Men !!!) is no reason for him to get the baby out. But he promised to see me in 10 days to see if my pregnancy diabetis gets worse, than we might take her out a week earlier… So far my sugar is high up no matter what I eat. The good news was that my baby turned head down, and now I am in heaven, the belly went down, I can breath and walk and even drive !!!! So I might be able to enjoy my last 2-3 weeks of freedom before my pumpkin shows up, only if the weather would finally turn into spring! We have about 4-5 degrees now (( and rain most of the time… typical Austria!

This coming Monday is Pessah, a big deal for Jews! In Israel all the families have fights who will eat where… and no matter where you choose to spend the Pessah dinner, somebody will always be very offended until next year! This year we have friends coming from Israel to spend Pessah with us and we have invited other Israeli friends from work.
Since all Israelis claim to clean their house like crazy to dispose of any bread crumbles in the deepest and darkest corners of their houses, I hope they will find my lens I forget at somebodies house during my last visit. Well, if they clean half as thoroughly as they all say, it should not be a problem, right?!

Usually when a new baby arrives, families buy a bigger car…, NOT ME. I have changed my Volvo XC90 7 seat Jeep to a Mini Cooper convertible !!! I love it! Its sooooo cute! Yes true, it’s not the right car for me now, but I fell in love with it, it must be the red color, I turn so childish in my old age. I would prefer pink or purple, but my husband said he will not set foot in a pink car, so I took the red one! The last weeks I couldn’t drive it because I can’t get out of it, in – is easier – but out, I need someone to pull me out .The kids love it too! So far the weather was bad, we just could drive it open a couple of times, but I am positive that soon we will enjoy it to the fullest, me and my girls!

We are still not set on a name, we have a couple on the list, but I decided to wait until we see her, than the choice should be easier.

Last week on 11 April, my beloved aunti Lily has died. This was very sad for us all, she was a very special and funny lady. Now she rests in peace, after years of pain and misery. Folks, watch your weight !!! This leads to illness when we get old. I decided to go on a strict diet after the baby is born, hopefully the breast feeding will help too. I am prepared to do what ever it takes (even my worst nightmare – SPORTS !!!), to be like I was 10 years ago meaning 50 kilo!

So keep your fingers crossed for a smooth delivery and a healthy and happy little girl to arrive soon!

Happy Passover to all my friends,

Jan

I can’t wait to see our little kicking pumpkin. I am so curious to see what she looks like. I hope she will be a “mini me”, because a “mini my husband” we already have.  We are still undeceive about a suitable name for my princess: (feel free to vote !!!)
– Emma  – Ella   – Mia   – May   – Kim    – Libi

My friends gave me plenty of baby books to read, unfortunately not much news for an old mom like me. I will look into some baby massage methods on youtube. Can you believe all the things you can learn on youtube (apart from building bombs and 1-2-3 break into a car). Seriously, nowadays we got so lazy that reading is not enough for us, we want to see it in video, somebody has to demonstrate it for us before we try it at home.

Funny how life works and has its cycles. My family plan works like what we learned in marketing “FIFO” First in – first out. That would be about my first son, he wants to go to the Israeli army in July when he turns 18. It seems like  in a supermarket, the first kid leaves after the last one arrives. Terrifying thought for me as a mother to send my boy so far away from mommy, but on the other hand, if he doesn’t go he will be stuck in the 5 Star Hotel called “Hotel Mama” for another 10 years or so without making much out of his life, this also is not such a thrilling thought. My friends tell me: “send him to the army, he will learn discipline!” I am sure he will learn new things in the army, like for instance “waking up in the morning”, something we have been practicing for 15 years and still he does not get it.   If I don’t (physically!!!) wake him up screaming, he can sleep until 5 in the afternoon. On weekends I go and check his pulse and if he is still breathing… How can a person sleep so much…? Bright side is, when he sleeps he’s not arguing with me. It must be terrible to be a teenager. Even more terrible for the parents than for the kids, they seem to think they are fine. Now that my son is almost out of this ugly teenager age, my daughter is on her way. Friends have warned me that girls are even worse, but I couldn’t believe it at that time, she was so perfect so calm and nice, she was a real “yes mommy” girl….Now she has added a new word to her vocabulary “NOOOOOOO !!!!” It’s not only the word “no” it’s more the way she says it, so loud and so committed, like her life depends on it. She is a scorpion, so when this little one says no, she really means it. I am sure she is also worried of being kicked off her throne, after all, she was our “baby” for the last 12 years. As happy as she is about the new baby, I am not sure she is willing / ready to give up the “throne” just yet.

Yesterday I went to the hospital where I will have the baby. It’s the same hospital I had my knee operation last April. Good thing is that it’s a private hospital and it has a parking! Yes! Not all hospitals in Vienna have parking, some even don’t have a possibility to drop of a patient, which is really weird. The nurse showed us the nursery and the rooms and all, but I was most interested about the pain killers they are ready to hand out the first 48 hours of real hell and back! I will meet the anesthesiologist, I am sure he knows better than the nurses. My cousin who had her 4th C-section in Israel said they are giving the epidural with morphine for 48 hours, she loved it so much that she will be having a 5th c-section in September. I don’t know what she likes more, the children or the morphine? However here in Vienna they don’t practice that. They feel that morphine is not needed, obviously they never had a c-section before. I am dreading this operation, my third, and I hope that the excitement of the baby girl will distract me and help me forget the pain.

I am still on Valium… and the constructions in my house are not finished … this house of mine went from “dream house” to “hell house” in the last 3 months.
What an adventure/torture we got ourselves into …. OMG !!!

In this kind of mood I cannot write, and for sure not make you laugh, I am depressed and sad myself and other than being cynical, nothing is working….
Being the most inpatient person, and the worst control freak on earth – this situation is unbearable for me. So how do I cheer myself up?? I eat and I go shopping…. Starting from wrinkle creams and serums, handbags, gadgets and oh, let’s not forget shoes and handbags ….

I have now 3 covers for 1 iPad… 2 covers for 1 iPhone, I do lots of online shopping too, because shops in Vienna close at 6….
So in order not to miss a shopping opportunity, when shops are closed and I can’t find anything interesting in online shopping – my other favorite activity is EATING …
I discovered (or rather admit), I am a classic emotional eater … I eat to make myself feel better. I do feel better for a moment until I see the outcome of this new hobby, such as, there is 1 and a half of me reflecting in the mirror. Is this momentary pleasure worth the months, years of struggle with my extra kilos afterwards??? I don’t think so. I am seriously considering (… again …) to change permanently my eating habits.

I have now started the South Beach Diet … I am finishing my first week. This diet works great for me, because I don’t like carbs anyway, but I do love steaks and salads … I can live without it. So I am very positive that this time it will work. Hard part is the NO SUGAR at all permitted in the first 2 weeks, which I want to make 4 weeks, just as a punishment, for being in this position in the first place … that will teach me a lessen )))
I had no idea that all the fat reduced even plain yogurts have sugar in them! How rude is that!!! I thought I will go and buy all the fat free diary products, but they are all loaded with sugar … so I did not buy them. I bought some jello sugar free, I don’t know if I will be able to swallow it down, it will be my snack in 1 hour…

Although lots of new roads have been added and houses are built like crazy, the prices for living are in the sky, and I wonder how people manage there… shocking to see how recklessly people drive there, and shocking to see how children have no boundaries and speak to their parents like they are their slaves/friends/equals … Here children are far more disciplined, well, maybe it is the heat that drives them mad..??!! It was sad for me to see that the municipalities, either because of lack of money or other priorities, don’t give a shit how the city looks. The pavements are damaged, the streets are not clean, the houses look like they were hit by bombs….what a shame. Or maybe I just got used to the beauty of Vienna … pavements are impeccable, streets are clean, the outside of the houses is being renovated every 10 years, everything is far more aesthetic.

My Baby Girl
We had the organscreening ultrascan in Israel – A M A Z I N G !!! Technology and medicine in Israel is far more advanced than in Austria. We were a whole hour “inside the womb” with my little angel, we had a glimpse of what she is up to in there … unbelievable !!! It is amazing to see and hard to believe that such a tiny little person is inside me having a great time tossing and turning, grabbing the cord, drinking and peeing, we saw it . So I have another 14-15 weeks to go, meaning I have done already much more than I have ahead of me, this is comforting. My belly is quite big by now, although I just gained 3 kg so far,  at least it is clear to see that I am not fat but pregnant …. I am very excited and started the count down We already bought the stroller in purple, this seems to be my current favorite color. I am now in buying fever and organizing and folding things. I bought a new bag so I can keep everything inside better organized than the one before. We bought a new Volvo jeep :=) a white, in contrast of the big black one my husband is driving. I bought a new macbook pro laptop, a smaller one with a purple bag that goes well with the stroller . This weekend I will visit crowded Ikea and shop for plants and other bullshit to decorate our downstairs living room. I guess I am starting my “nesting” period.
We’ll keep you updated.

I have a son ,whom I cherish and love, but one is enough!!! I got the picture!!! Like “been there, done that”. I also have a girl and it’s soooo much easier. I love them both no doubt, but if god would let me choose, we all know the answer …
Most of our friends think that my husband wants a son, no he does not. We are all set on it that we prefer a girl, except my son, who wants a brother of course. He claims that he wants to teach him soccer. Knowing my son and how busy, and never around he is in his age of almost 18, I knew he would not teach his little brother anything, maybe a few bad words…best case scenario. With 18 he is almost out of the house, the one who stays is our daughter, now 12 and the perfect age for a loving big sister and “built-in” babysitter .

Now I am praying that my sister will also have a girl, she already has 2 boys (very lively ones!!), so of course for her getting another boy would be a disaster. I hope for a girl, they will be the same age, maybe a week or two apart, almost like twins we can dress them the same, we both always wanted twins. My father is a twin, but we did not inherit it, too bad. Twins would be great, would love to have twins, I would have so much work with them, and no time to eat or sleep, I would be too exhausted to eat …for sure I would loose weight in no time…. but no such luck, it’s only one baby I have.

So far I am really good in keeping my weight, but I have another 20 weeks to go …. and now my appetite is… let say, “very healthy”. The nausea has passed and I could eat and eat. I am fantasizing about food … At least I am not interested in sweets at all, thank god for that. I am much more into lemon with salt, sipping with pleasure the vinegar in the salads, and I am crazy about potatoes… I normally never touch potatoes, I don’t like them, but now, it’s such a feast. I had my “mash potato” time. I loved it. My daughter already asked me if we are going to have mashed potato throughout my pregnancy. Luckily for them  it stopped, now I am into tomato salad with vinegar … my eating moods change every couple of days. Unpredictable!

I am very excited and relived with this good news we received yesterday! Now we are choosing a name, so far our names: 1. Ella, 2. Kyla, 3.Kiara, 4. Emma, 5. Amelie, 6. May or Mia
Feel free to suggest names or tell which ones you like.  Bear in mind, the ugly german accent though.

In Israel we don’t work on Friday’s. Today I wish I would live in Israel, but than, they work on Sunday, not so nice either! So I do prefer to stay in Vienna where we have Saturday and Sunday off. The working week is just so damn long, and the weekends are way too short. Especially now that I have been sleeping the last 4 months – even when I am awake – I am half asleep. I even wake up tired. My doctor said it’s normal in the first trimester, but I guess my baby did not read the pregnancy manual, or realize I am in the 2nd Trimester now, and still tired and sleepy. Another pregnancy (or age…) side effect is that I am so forgetful, I forget everything! I even drove by my house a couple of time, I just keep driving….

So now we are 16 weeks yupiii !! Almost almost half way though … it’s showing, for those who thought a few weeks ago “oh that one gained weight again…”, can see now, that is clearly a baby belly
It is a very exciting time for me, feels different than the times before, must be the (old) age, I think I wrote that already before (see I forget!!). We still don’t know if it’s a girl or a boy. NO offense to all the cute boys out there. I have one, been there done that … enough. I/We desperately want a girl !!!! I want the pink bugaboo and the dresses and ribbons, the long hair, the tons of kissing and hugging. Those are things you can only do with a girl, boys wont let you, maybe until 3-4. The baby stores are full of beautiful stuff for girls, and when you look at the boys side, its all dull and boring. Of course the most important is to have a healthy child no doubt, but please god, make it a healthy little girl for me! The last 2 ultrasounds, no matter how patient my doctor tried to be, the baby just crossed its legs and turned away, same drill both times. Now in 2 weeks I have another ultrascan and I hope we will find out.
I had the idea a few weeks ago, not to ask or tell the doctor not to tell us, and be surprised after the baby is born. I don’t think I am mentally strong enough to go through with that idea… I am too keen to order the pink stroller already … Also,  I feel that until I really know if it’s a boy or girl the baby is so “anonymous”… no?! I mean, of course I am already attached to the baby no matter of the gender (even if it’s a boy), I want to know. I keep referring to it as a girl, me and all the family actually, so I wonder how we will feel if it’s not a girl. Somehow I am sure it is a girl though…. Let’s see! Who wants to bet?

In 4 weeks we are celebrating my daughters Bat-Mitzva. Unbelievable, how time flies!!! She was just a baby and now she is so grown up … and taller than me… Well that is easy, anybody is taller than me. Not only my daughter is so grown up … My son is a man! In July he is going to the Israeli army (another reason not to want another boy)! I dread this moment! He plays it tough, but I know he needs his mommy and I wonder how he will get along all alone there without me. We Jewish mothers worry to much, he will do just fine I guess and all birds leave the nest eventually ….

This weekend we finally had snow !!! Fantastic. I love it when it snows! I only hate to clean the car! We do have a garage … but the works are not finished so we have a huge empty garage and the cars are full of snow in the mornings…. I hope they will finish this bloody renovation soon.